


(16. Wild) / Rare Observations

by Mothfluff



Series: GO-ctober Prompts 2019 [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, October Prompt Challenge, One Word Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 21:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothfluff/pseuds/Mothfluff
Summary: My attempts at an October Challenge, basically using the original Inktober prompts for drabbles.(Each prompt will be posted as part of a series, not chapters, so I can add tags/characters/ratings/trigger warnings for each instead of the whole she-bang)Prompt 16 - Wild"And here, we see the elusive male-coded earthly demon. Unlike the closely related Hell-species, this once wild and dangerous creature has become fairly docile. In a rather unusual occurrence in the animal kingdom, the species has decided to switch from a nomadic lifestyle to a settled territory – which can still stretch several hundred miles across the countryside. The feeding habits and diet of this creature remains a mystery, as it has only rarely been observed to eat anything. Territorial fights and displays of dominance, however, are a regular sight to be-"Pepper shot Brian an angry look as the camera shook from his suppressed laughter, only to shake even more when Wensleydale punched his upper arm.





	(16. Wild) / Rare Observations

_And here, we see the elusive male-coded earthly demon. Unlike the closely related Hell-species, this once wild and dangerous creature has become fairly docile. In a rather unusual occurrence in the animal kingdom, the species has decided to switch from a nomadic lifestyle to a settled territory – which can still stretch several hundred miles across the countryside. The feeding habits and diet of this creature remains a mystery, as it has only rarely been observed to eat anything. Territorial fights and displays of dominance, however, are a regular sight to be-_

Pepper shot Brian an angry look as the camera shook from his suppressed laughter, only to shake even more when Wensleydale punched his upper arm.

The Them were carefully crouched behind the garden fence, right at the area where the rosebush on the other side was thickest, but left a little spot clear through which to zoom in on the tableau inside of one 'earthly demon' working away on his plants with just the right mix of careful pruning and forceful shouting.

“Sorry, sorry.” Brian whispered after stopping the film, before picking the camera back up and focussing on Pepper. “Keep going.”

Pepper snorted derisively and lifted the imaginary microphone (an old toothbrush) up again.

_Territorial fights and displays of dominance, however, are a regular sight to behold, as the demon will protect its home against many perceived dangers and intruders. Reports have been made of even elderly humans being scared away from its domain with the help of threat-displays and vigorous snarling._

Brian's mum had found the old recorder in a box in the attic, and after a short bit of explanation how to film with it, the Them had found the perfect use for it. Who else had the chance to make a documentary about non-boring creatures? (They'd tried with Dog first, but for some reason, two hours of footage of a small dog lying around, occasionally scratching his ears, was not that thrilling.)

_Even in peaceful situations, the demon will keep his vigilance up. Despite being a predatory species, its erratic behaviour can sometimes be seen as the habits of prey-_

The camera panned back through the rosebushes, only to focus on an empty garden. Adam gave a warning yell for Brian to stop the film and hide it seconds before Crowley could grab the camera from his hands. As it stood, all he could do was scowl over the garden fence at the four tiny humans squatting beside his house.

“And what do you lot think you're doing, exactly?” He growled, but the only answer he got was playful screeching and laughter as they darted off down the street.

Some kids just didn't know how to be properly frightened of wild creatures anymore.

-*-

“Just a warning.” Crowley had told him over tea later that day. “Those kids are up to something again. Caught them sneaking around the bushes today, doing who knows what.”

Aziraphale had smiled and nodded. Crowley was still skittish, even months after they'd moved to the cottage, after they'd last heard from either of their offices. Suspecting the poor kids to plan something was his go-to response whenever he saw them play. (And he was usually right, even if Aziraphale never realised. The Them were always up to something. Luckily, it mostly included both demon and angel in their plans, so there was never any harm done as far as Crowley was concerned.)

“I'll watch out for it. Maybe have a nice chat.”

“Like you'll find out what they're doing.”

“That's why I'll ask, dear.”

Crowley had snorted after setting down his cup. Aziraphale might be able to chat nicely with everyone, including the kids on their visits – but Crowley was the one who'd actually get involved in whatever heist they were doing. Whether he liked it – or knew about it – or not.

(There were several reasons for that. Number one, the Them had tried to involve Aziraphale in any kind of shenanigans, and that had usually ended in them being caught almost immediately – often by Crowley. Number two, he was far better in making up escape plans that seemed impossible, but ended up being dangerously fun. Number three, he was absolutely superior in smiling and taking the blame whenever they got caught, because he simply didn't seem to give a shit.)

When Aziraphale heard quiet whispering from behind the gates leading to the front garden the next day, he pretended not to hear it.

_The earthly angel is considered a reclusive, not very agressive creature. While its larger brethren have a habit of intruding into human territories, this small subspecies has instead come to a territorial agreement with them. It is an omnivore, feeding on whatever it finds in its travels, but has been documented to prefer fresh nourishment. Despite its size and prowess, it is a largely peaceful species and has not yet been caught fighting for territory or against other predators. _

Wensleydale had taken his turn to be commentator after a short bout of fighting in the evening, and was proudly clutching the toothbrush-microphone as the camera zoomed in and out on Aziraphale lounging in his deckchair. Brian, who'd claimed constant right of filming by means of being the one who actually owned the camera, was kneeling next to Pepper and Adam, who'd all but lost sight of Dog while trying not to giggle about Wensleydale's narration.

Aziraphale was not at all surprised when the little terrier came trotting up to him for pets, which he knew he'd get plenty of. Unfortunately, the angel had other plans as he silently snuck up to the gates.

“Why hello, you four! What are you up to?”

He was met with four very shocked faces, but he didn't let it stop his smile. “Are you making a film?”

“Uh. No.” Brian lied, very ineffectively, as the camera was still in his hand.

“A documentary?” Aziraphale glossed over his lie. “You know, I met David Attenborough at a charity dinner once. A marvellous man.”

The Them could do nothing but smile, nod and hide their disappointment as he rambled on. Aziraphale's stories were interesting, they couldn't deny it, but it wasn't exactly what they'd planned to do with the afternoon.

Luckily, he didn't notice they'd never answered his question, and the camera and its film stayed un-confiscated in Brian's backpack.

-*-

Pepper had returned to be in charge of the commentary again. Wensleydale was a few feet away, sulking over it, as they all crouched near the glass windows to the conservatory, Peppers whispering words feeding into the camera.

_We are now witness to a truly incredible, unprecedented happening._

_No earthly demon or angel has ever been documented to interact in such ways. These recordings are a true marvel. And yet, it seems a meeting of two species who were destined to work together. _

_The angel, with its apparent inability to properly defend itself and its nest, has set up shop in the demon's territory. Rather than fight it, as is common for demons, this one has seemingly decided to make it a symbiotic relationship. As the demon protects the angel from other predators and provides it with sufficient feed, it profits from the angel's pack-structure, receiving wingcare, warmth in its shelter, as well as-_

“Ew.” Brian lifted his head away from the focus of the camera as it sank to the ground. Wensleydale was very much trying not to look at the two adults smooching between flowerpots inside. “Yeah, maybe we shouldn't be filming this.”

“Oh come on, guys. That's exactly what they want. They're on to us.” Adam protested (and understood, as easily as he often did, even when none of the others would believe him).

“I don't know, Adam.” Even Pepper argued. “This feels awfully intrusive now.”

Brian and Wensleydale nodded, even though they didn't quite understand what she meant.

“Fine. No documentary then.” Adam only sighed. “Maybe we can still try to catch Mrs. Loughton when she does her crazy post-dinner dance in the backyard. Let's go.”

Inside, an earthly angel pulled away from an equally earthly demon for barely an inch.

“Are they gone?”

“Mhm.” Crowley echoed, not very happy about the sudden interruption to their kiss.

“Good. Hopefully they've learned their lesson.”

“Oh, I highly doubt it.” Crowley grinned and leant forward again, chasing Aziraphale's lips. “But I'm pretty sure they'll stop filming _us_, at least.”


End file.
